Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
