I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
