I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
