I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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