Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
