Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
