making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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