We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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