Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
A bitchslap is in order.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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