Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think my vagina is haunted
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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