HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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