so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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