Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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