So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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