I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
