you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
no. you can't hotbox the world.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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