Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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