um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
