There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
