as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
