Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
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