My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
