Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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