Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
