Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
