youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
apparently the secret to your success is patron
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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