The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize