i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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