she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
