my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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