I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
