Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
