there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
