Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
