you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He felt like a one man threesome
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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