i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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