Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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