She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
