cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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