Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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