Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
