So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
