Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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