he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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