i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
