dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
