dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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