It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
