Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
