Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
