I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
