Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
