I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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