Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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