halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
