i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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