i love accidental penises.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
