Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
