remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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