You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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