Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
