So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
