we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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