It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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