i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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