oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
