She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
