I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
