i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize