You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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