So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
