Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
