I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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