i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
