isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
