guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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