We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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