You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
